In a previous article we have been highlighted about the divorce rate in Maldives. However, in this article, we will try to discuss about the covenant of marriage and how people take that within the lifespan of their marriages.Muslims enter a marriage (only by a man and a woman) by articulating a covenant with Allah (SWA). The consent of both the man and the woman is fundamentally an essential element of marriage. Nonetheless, in Islam, parents or the guardian has the right to give advice but they shall not force to the widow or the virgin (woman) to marry someone without their full consent. Therefore, what is the covenant of a marriage or what did people say in the moment that someone took a person, right before that person declares to be a husband or wife?
People put lot of money and time into the wedding night but the question is how many people have been seriously thought about the covenant of their marriage. In fact, couples take seriously other things that were happened in the wedding night ignoring the covenant; what people might say about my dress, the quality of the food, the music, the guest list and who came with the big parcel, the high level dignitaries, wedding photography/movie, what people say about the bedroom furniture or where to visit for the honeymoon trip. This is the core belief and etiquette of every marriage in our society. By the way, what happens after the honeymoon trip?
The couples come into real life after the honeymoon trip. The expensive glee wedding becomes a burden. Money has been wasted. The photo album goes into the cupboard as like archives of history files and wedding memories are been put out of their minds with surprising saddle. Couples see house rent, bills and children are the predicaments of the covenant.
In fact, the covenant forgets almost the very moment people knotted as husband and wife. This is because people take material things more seriously than the covenant. The truth to matter is right in front of you. We see people divorce within few months of their marriage. We see hatreds and angers in the marriage with little differences whilst forgiving is far beyond one can imagine. Again, the question is what was the real covenant of those marriages?
Marriage in Islam is a contract of duties and responsibilities between two partners who have given their full and free consent to marry each other. Hence, the real covenant is the love and tranquility between a man and a woman. A marriage itself defines the love and tranquility with understanding of the duties and responsibilities of the marriage. Then, why we have the skyrocketing divorce rate in the Maldives? The material and social disputes are been manifested and love and tranquility are not on the consultation table anymore.
Despite, in the domestic realm, oppression is manifested when the process of the Islamic Shura (consultation) is compromised, neglected or ignored. When one partner makes unilateral decisions and applies a dictatorial style of leadership, peace is compromised and consequently love and tranquility will fade away. Islam stresses clearly the importance of domestic Shura.
Allah said in Surah 42 verse 38: “Those who hearken to their Lord, and establish regular Prayer; who (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation; who spend out of what We bestow on them for Sustenance”
It is obvious that the covenant is the ingredient that makes for a successful partnership. Marriage in Islam is based on equality among partners and specification of roles. Lack of mercy or tranquility or compromising Shura renders the family into dysfunctional.
Marriage is a way of control over kids, wife, husband. Marriage is being abused by people all over the world. In Moslem countries especially one can legally sleep, have sex and own a girl of 9yrs because of this so called marriage.
ReplyDeletewhat good does it do? marriage a old ritual. Human likes rituals don't they?
Don’t dictate us with your school of atheistic thoughts. By the way it’s not MOSLIM and its MUSLIM and when you spell like that it seems a falsified invention. Don't blame the religion of Islam for all your problems but the problem is within YOU. When you barrow stuffs from here and there you have a mixture and you feel that you are part of nothing and that’s why you believe that the creation is created out of nothing as if things were happened out of blue.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is a legal binding and without a contract nothing is possible in human life cos humans always love to find ways to escape from rule of law and people tend to give excuses like the same excuse that you have given. Your school of thought is nothing new but the same old garbage as so called “Darwinian Monkey Business”.
The other problem within you is that if someone’s got a different thought than what you have then you think others are arrogant and backward people. Reading from few web pages/books with confined thoughts doesn’t make you a better person. Hey! I don’t blame you but I blame your freaking mind with same old school of thoughts that we have seen from Pharaohs in 9th century, way before Darwinian school of thoughts.
Peace to all
Yusuf Hussein
you didn't like that.did you Yusuf? the truth in its very pure form. Im not the one borrowing strength from external materials. You see, im not talking about Islam here! Marriage all over the world. all religions and even athests. why are you guys so up with atheists and darwin. Is it because they challenge your age old belief? How did you assume im an atheist? it is indeed arrogant!
ReplyDeleteIf there is anything i hate, its self-fuliflling prophecy! not the prophecy itself.
You did not provide any reasonable argument whatsoever towards my point but chose to bash on atheism and Darwin.
thththth!!
It is too obvious from your lines that you were generalising the religion of Islam with your oblivious thoughts. You can't just be a believer having such thoughts. I don’t need any formula to show you that i was telling lies/truth but anyone who can read your lines can assume what I've assumed.
ReplyDeleteWhat reasonable arguments you want from me. How many children are there in the world without a biological father? Do you know the psychological dilemma that bears these children? All you want is sex sex and sex...freeman! freesex? Is that the formula you are indulging onto us? Having sex with multiple partners and walk away from such relationships without fulfilment of legal responsibility. That is quite disturbing to me.
We know that there are countries in the world where you can have children out of marriage. Whether you or someone practices such customs that does not gives us a recipe to solve the problems within the society. BUT it’s not the marriage that burdens the people it’s the people who saddle s the legitimate relationship by manifesting and dictating things against the legal contract of the marriage. When you apply this to any lawful contract you will find flows within the people who follow such contracts but NOT the contracts. The world will be more peaceful and beautiful if people follow the rules of law without manifesting the God given Commandments.
What old age belief you are talking about? There are billions and billions who follows the religious beliefs. For God sake, you are not challenging me with your 20th and 21st century thoughts. You are challenging the Creator not the creations and I am just one of a creation within the creation. You need to give constructive arguments with fact based analysis t to prove your points rather dictating self manifested manifestations.
God bless all
Yusuf Hussein
Yusuf,
ReplyDeleteIf you go back and read my comment again, you'd see i clearly said all over the world. and especially in MOSLEM (i like this spelling:)) societies i said. i have reasons for that emphasis one of them i explained already. I really don't get why people needs laws to make them behave. what kind of animals are we? its like saying if god had not forbade us killing we'd not know killing is a bad thing.
I can assure you that i will not leave my partner or the child just because there is no artificial law, legislation that prevents by force for me to abandon them. that's utterly stupid! are you saying you are faithful to your kids and wife, partner (whatever you call them)because govt and god has instructed.
The freesex crap is something people like you have cultivated. may be thats why you need resistance by force, legislation etc. perverts they are!
Listen dude! im not asking you to change your belief and i can't ask that. I was just trying to give an bit of truth and insight to this problem. It seems you do not have the frame of reference to think out of the condiotioned mind.
"Most of the popular monotheistic religions actively undermine morality through the notions of 'Heaven' and 'Hell'. A person who acts in the hope of reward is not acting morally - they are merely being mercenary. Likewise the person who acts out of fear is not acting morally - they are under duress. The truly moral person needs no threats or bribes."
First, whether you like it or not the spelling that you spellout is completely wrong and it distorts the meaning of the word. That is called a falsified manifestaion.
ReplyDeleteI have gone back to your lines and ofcos you said 'all over the world' but you have attacked the religion of Islam without understanding the argument of the article. You said 'in Muslim countries' what about Hindu or Buddism. Look at your backyard India and you will find the so called rituals. That's why I said you have attacked and generalised the religion of Islam with a same tone as like the extreme media.
Besides, human follows certain rules to control their behaviours and without rule of law people tends to behave as like animals. In Islam the rules are to protect the innocents and it is the only way you can abolish all the illigitimate act in the society. The drug, alcohol, illegal sex. These are the things which distruct a society slowly. Do you know that the death rate on the roads of certain societies in the world. If you look at the current satistics you will find alcohol/drugs related accidents which killed thousands of innocents every year. Due to such reasons, Islam abolishes such acts by banning and put forth rules to deals with such abuses.
I am faithful to my religion becuase I have learnt the consequence of such acts its not because of the opression of the religion and govt. Its because the complete way of life and I am not here to follow the animal rules as you advocate cos I couldnt find a constructive reasons to accept the doctrine of darwinsim.
BTW i am not a dude and just call me Yusuf! What is the truth that you are trying to dictate? You are just trying to be smart with your school of darwinic thoughts. Your thoughts are already proven wrong and the entire humankind is going backward with your thoughts. As I said there is no quick remedy to this issue. The simple fact is that people are trying to manifest and dictate things into the contract of marriage. thats simple enough to understand the fact.
You are trying to tell your audience that marriage is garbage and have relationship and kids outside of the marriage. That's not gonna work in our society. I am trying to apply the facts and rules to our very own society.
Finally, in Maldives you just can't separate people's faith and their belief. You are trying to keep a foreign object into a baby's mouth without understanding the consequence of it. That's how delicate the issue is in Maldives. Your school of thoght might sell out into the community after few decades of the current trend or might be an implausible one to try!
Peace to all
Yusuf Hussein.
Yusuf,
ReplyDeleteI would not have write back again, but i care.. i care about what is our society today. All over the world, not just in small islands in Indian ocean.
I have to repeat what i said, but i will try to touch it deeper. would appreciate if you can leave this darwinism possession you got there. this has nothing to do with any theory.
What im trying to say is, its not laws and legal base of marriage that needs reinforcement or reform. The legal system, the certificates and the subsequent charges in case of divorce are there already. the penalties and punishments for fornications are there, from the beginning very strongly outlined by the religions and govt laws. We have the latest laws, modern laws and all with harsher punishments and fines BUT do people follow it. I live with so many people who are married and yet have girl friends. Moslems and non-Moslems. there is no loyalty. we can not prevent people from misbehavior by making laws. Laws are attempts to deal with problems when people does not know how to solve them. Its like building stilts to support a house that is about to fall off a cliff.
No patch work can do it.
What we need is to look deep in to our values and morals and reform them. We need to learn what is respectability and responsibility. Today that is merely a touched subjected in the schools and homes but its our norm to get married at the age of 18yrs.
Why do you think people do not roam around naked in the streets. Today it would be considered socially offensive. don't you think. You don't need to make laws for that. Why can't we upgrade our social fabric in other areas as well. even without a marriage certificate i think we could have a society where people are educated on Sex and take responsibility and respectability in to account and if that is not followed those will be considered socially offensive. don't you see!
When there is legal basis and all romanticized, it creates conflict. Today we are not rational beings. Everything is so romanticized. A husband and wife may argue over a piece of cake a member of family or some other petty issue. they may even breakup. people get jealous, envy, cheat etc. we live in a very emotional society where rational judgments does not stand a chance. a guy might look at your sister and your buddy says, how can you let that guy look at your sister like that.i'd have punch the hell out OR husband see wife talking to another man and he cracks up.
How do you make laws for all these! Laws we make when we do not know what to do about it. We have understand these and make necessary reforms inwardly.
Now you are making little bit of sense and once you go back to your very first comment you will find the variations between the last and first comments.
ReplyDeleteFew points which makes sense but I am not here to fight you back in every line you've been highlighted.
As I said before, DO NOT spellout the word "MUSLIM" as "MOSLIM". The ordinary word in English is "Muslim", pronounced MUSLIM in Arabic and when you spell out as above which transliterated as offensive to Muslim.
'Until the late 1980s and 1950s, the term 'Moslem' and 'Mohammadans' were commonly used. Muslims do not recommend this spelling because it is often pronounced "mawzlem"/mɒzlɛm/ which sounds somewhat similar to an Arabic word for "oppressed" (Za'lem in Arabic)'-Wikiepedia 2009
If you think you should be offending the Muslims then I guess it is your way or the highway.
I have given enough facts and constructive arguments to all your comments accept the last. As I said before, I am not here to fight back but to clear up the arguments to those who follows the comments.
But last, I would say that the manifestations and the dictatorial style of living should be stopped and follow the rules of law to live upto the civilized standards! Did i say that we should put forth rules for every individual action? but the summarisation of the argument was the rules and laws should be created and applied to any injustice within community/society which might foresee or fears of creating a disfunctional society. That is the only reason Islam advocates such rules but today, the rules and laws are been ignored in wider communities.
Also, we have seen reformed societies around the world but the real question is does such reformed societies brought any good or a complete solutions to the existing problems? The answer is simply NO!
Peace to all
Yusuf Hussein
I still stand behind what i said in my first comment. I have eloborated on what i said. marriage is an old ritual and was designed to control people. its a law and laws are made to control people.
ReplyDeleteI can not understand your concern over the word MOSLEM. do you know anything about semantics. i can suggest you a book called TYRANNY OF WORDS by Stuart Chase which has done a great deal of research on semantics.
As I said its your way or the Highway! You can stand with your viewpoint! keep it up!
ReplyDeleteMy concern is very clear. don't you think so? Some people prefer the word MOSLIM because of the way it sounds and some people say it just to offend Muslims.
I guess you dont have much knowledge about Islam. This is the problem in today's enviornment. People try to define Islam and try to teach Islam to our Muslim community without the proper knowledge. This is where we see the divisions within the communities around us.
Also, people try to apply things to their common knowledge without understanding the issues just to sell out their veiws. I think this is very wrong! BUT as I said its your way or the Highway!
Peace to all
Yusuf Hussein