Skyrocketing divorce rate changing face of Maldives

Why do we have so many divorces in our small community? A God fearing community which has escalated the divorce rate figures more than any other countries in the world. Believe it or not, the Maldives has been listed countries with the highest divorce rate per thousand. Maldives got the highest rate by index of 10.97 and the second highest rated country Belarus reached just only 4.65 and the America has competed with 4.19 winning the third place of this index.

Aneesa Ahmed, the former Minister of the Ministry of Women's Affairs and Social Security said that there were many factors that contributed to the high divorce rate in Maldives, she said. One reason was the way in which a man could get a divorce. In the Islamic Shariah, the verbal pronouncement by the husband was adequate to terminate the marriage without having to go to court. Another reason for the high divorce rate was the lack of any social stigma on the divorced person. Not only this, there are other barriers such as social problems, financial burdens, Unislamic behaviours to provoke conflictions for such separations.

Anyhow, the dogma of marriage has turned out to be a bitter remedy for our families who believed and worshiped for the true love against all obtrusive measures. We all see the Romeo and Juliet fairy-tale from the dark corners of our roads or in the neighborhood bushes. We see couple promises and actions against the parental commandments and battling with fathers to win war of love. To end with, the couple wins the war with their sophisticated weapons; the weapons of fear tactics - weekly fasting with silence, bring to a halt the studies but last not the least they use weapons of mass destruction - play hide and seek with the Romeo, and finally, write the suicidal note to pressure the family.

With all those fear tactics the couple ruled out their little world and put a ring on their fingers to celebrate the accomplishment. The unfortunate parents agreed the terms but keep their words within them and curse the couple as to substantiate their spoken words.

After the marriage, without family planning they go for the next step and have kids (like Japanese fish) to show the world that they have strength and energy to prove their spoken words. As the audience watches, when bills appear, the happy couple distant themselves and ignores the demands of their newborn family. Finally, the couple realized that the price tag is heavier than that they considered worth for a fight against their parents. At the same time, parents remind them their spoken words before they filed a divorce. With all due respect of the war that they fought, the couples turned out their back while provoking thoughtless conflicts and get divorced as if the world has been fallen over their shoulders. Forgetting the children and the promised love they put forth the anger to substantiate the divorce.

Why is it then that so many people, who wanted to be close to someone, end up with a divorce, often filled with anger and disappointment? Many who marry attempt to achieve a strong, enduring bond based primarily on emotions. In most marriage the love and acceptance continue as long as the other person is meeting a certain level of expectation. If the feelings are warm, a husband and wife can enjoy one another's company, overlook a partner's troubling or annoying traits, communicate adequately, and still express affection.

But when the feelings cool, one or both find they have no reserves or capability to love an obviously imperfect person. Now needs are not met, which causes hurt, which promotes defensiveness, which reduces positive communication, which heightens misunderstanding, which provokes conflict, which fuels anger and bitterness. If forgiveness and reconciliation do not break this downward spiral within the God fearing community, the ability to love one another is paralyzed.

This pattern in nearly all marriage may be avoided for awhile as long as the tough issues that provoke selfishness do not exist or are obscured. But sooner or later reality hits. In spite of a couple's best intentions, they eventually realize that two independent people cannot both have all of their needs met all of the time.